


Summer Heat

by GloGloChanyeol



Category: EXO (Band), K-pop
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Everyone Is Gay, Gay, Getting Back Together, Happy Ending, Hurt, Light Angst, M/M, Post-Break Up, Sad and Happy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-03
Updated: 2018-11-03
Packaged: 2019-08-17 00:31:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16505684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GloGloChanyeol/pseuds/GloGloChanyeol
Summary: He was the summer heat that got lost in the winter of my heart.





	Summer Heat

“I love you.”

“Stop telling me sweet lies.”   
  
•   
  
**Baekhyun’s point of view**   
  
The wind blew through my hair as I walked down the boulevard, thinking of all the times that I was wrong. I was wrong or rather, he was _wrong_. Three years of lies that were all so sweet but at the same time, they were deadly. So very deadly and being the fool that I am, I believed all of it. I sigh, that was all in the past. He left and I had never been with anyone else ever since.    
  
I kept my head down as the music blared through my ears, he used to sing this to me, I smiled at the memory that I thought was long forgotten and continued to walk to my car. I hate him but I still want him. I miss the way he held me as if I was made out of glass. I miss the way he kissed me and touched me as if I really did matter to him. I miss the way he looked at me as if I was his entire universe.

I miss him.

It was stupid, wanting to be with the person who broke you but the way he made me feel was enough for me to run back to him but somehow, I never did. Maybe it was the fear of being broken again or maybe it was the fear of not being able to leave him. 

  
I love him but I don’t want to anymore. It was exhausting to love someone who was so far away, I didn’t want to sail to him just to end up sinking again. It was all too painful to bear the guilt of not being enough for him. Nobody was enough for him, he was too picky. He was known to have a new lover every month and I was quite surprised that he kept me for three years. Maybe, just maybe, I meant something more to him. Maybe he did love me but why would he- never mind.    
  
I got into my car, the heat that surrounded me was relaxing. I turned the radio on as I drove out of my parking space, it was playing the same generic songs as always. That was until I heard his voice, he was doing an interview and he sounded as lively as ever, as if he was okay.    
  
“So I heard that you’ve been seeing many models lately, specifically Lark Daintwell. How’s that going for you?” the radio host laughed.    
  
“Great actually, Lark and I have been seeing each other for quite some time now a-“    
  
The tears were already streaming down my face as I turned the radio off. How could he sound so happy after he threw away his boyfriend of three years.    
__   
_Why did you throw me away?_   
  
I tried to wipe my tears away but they couldn’t stop, it was as if everything that I held back was now rushing out. I got out of my car and rushed to open the front door, the outside world was too painful for my heart. The outside world was where _he_ was.    
  
I closed the door and leaned against it before breaking down on to the cold floors of the place I call ‘home’ but I doubt it was a home, a home isn’t cold. Home is where you feel safe, home is where the heart is and my heart is with _him_. He was home, he was _my_ home.    
  
I wiped away my tears for the umpteenth time. I looked at the floors, the walls and the ceiling. If this house could talk, they would tell you many things. A story of laughter and joy, and a story of heartbreak and pain that all had sequels and prequels. These walls would only say the truth, _the only kind of truth that I would get_.    
  
I picked myself up from the ground, by now I was used to this. I made my way to my bathroom and cleaned the pollution off me. His touches still lingered on my body and I just wanted to scrub it all away, his touches were always warm. It was the only thing that warmed this cold, empty excuse of a house. 

_He was the summer heat that got lost in the winter of my heart._   
  
I got out of the shower and wrapped myself around a fluffy towel. I wore a pair of sweatpants and a plain white shirt, I wasn’t planning on leaving the house anyways. There was nobody to impress. I sat on the couch, listening to the silence around me. It was peaceful yet daunting, almost like _him_. I shook my head and ignored the part of my brain that was just for the things that I wanted to forget. Bills, ignorance, the will to live, and obviously, him. I wanted to forget him but I couldn’t do it, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t pretend that those three years of fake love didn’t exist.    
  
I sighed and looked at my phone. Junmyeon texted me, asking if I would like to go out. I unlocked my phone and sent a quick reply.    
  
Yes.    
  
My plans of staying home that day didn’t go as planned but spending time with my best friend always did lighten up my mood. I met Junmyeon during kindergarten and ever since we played House together, we became the closest of friends. Junmyeon was brave, when _he_ left me that day, Junmyeon was in Busan and he took the fastest train to Seoul to beat _him_ up. He arrived at my house with bloody hands and I smiled at him, knowing that he would always be by my side despite my stupid mistakes. My heart did hurt that the boy I loved was in pain but I let it slide as what he did to me was worse. He stabbed my heart multiple times yet I was still breathing as if nothing was wrong when everything was wrong.    
  
_We_ were wrong.    
  
I got dressed again but in more presentable clothes; a black striped shirt with black skinny jeans and a red jacket. I grabbed my phone off the table and walked out of the front door. The winter breeze immediately hit my face and even with a thick jacket on, I still felt cold. I wanted to go back into my cheap and crusty house but I already agreed to meet up with Junmyeon. As I was just about to enter my car, a black SUV had pulled up and out came Kim Junmyeon himself, with a box of pizza. I mumbled a ‘thank you’ to the gods before pulling my best friend in for a tight hug, it was cold after all.    
  
“Hello, Baekkie!” he greeted me with the sweetest smile.    
  
I giggled and brought him into my house. I quickly got dressed into the clothes that I was wearing before and sat down beside him as he switched through the channels on the television. Then it stopped at him and the remote had unfortunately run out of battery as Junmyeon tried his best to change the channel.    
  
He looked amazing as always. The way his hair was styled, he always liked it when it was fluffy and natural but he had his hair up at the moment. The fire in his eyes were still there, those were the same eyes that looked at me as if I was the only thing that lit up his life. His muscles would always flex when he laughed and I had always found it arousing, his hands were soft too. His touch was always a tease, ghosting his fingers on my sides waiting for me to beg for him. I looked down at my lap as a tear fell from my eye. Junmyeon had pulled the plug of the television and rushed to comfort me. He pulled my petite frame onto his lap as I cried my heart out on his shoulder.    
  
“Godammit! I miss him! I miss him so much!” my wails were muffled by his neck.    
  
My tears stained his grey shirt but he didn’t seem to mind. He rubbed my back and whispered soothing things into my ear. I calmed down after a few minutes but continued to sniffle as if I was a child who was denied of candy. Junmyeon carried me to bed and snuggled up next to me. This was a normal thing that we did, everything was platonic. I felt him squeeze my side before I fell asleep.    
  
I woke up two hours later and he still had his arm around me. It didn’t feel the same as _his_ touch but it was better than nothing. I got out from his grasp and headed towards the kitchen, wanting to make a meal for him as a way to say ‘thank you’ for all the things that he had done for me. I had prepared Jajangmyeon for him as that was his favourite, he loved anything that had noodles in it. I even gave him a nickname, _JuJunmyeon_ eating Jajangmyeon. It was lame but I found it funny and so did he.    
  
Thirty minutes later, a sleepy Junmyeon waddles in and sits at the dining table. I brought out the noodles and he happily ate it.    
  
“Thank you, Baekkie.” he smiled at me as I watched him eat.   
  
I smiled back and ruffled his hair. No matter how tough he looked, he had one of the most softest hearts and I was grateful that he existed. Without him, I wouldn’t know what to do. I placed a gentle kiss on his forehead, this was another thing that was platonic between us. Our forehead kisses were special, they represented our friendship and its purity. Innocent kisses that showed trust and a strong bond that nobody could break. I looked around my house once more and realised that maybe, I could turn this cold house into a warm home with or without a heart.    
  
Maybe it was time to move on. _He_ moved on quick so why I couldn’t I do the same? I looked a Junmyeon and said something to him that made his eyes go wide. He asked me if I was sure and without hesitating I said ‘yes’. This may have been foolish and surplus to do but I needed to do it. I needed to let all my emotions out and watch them burn.    
  
After Junmyeon finished his meal, he helped me pack everything that I needed for the trip we were about to make. We got into his car and proceeded to drive to the forest, it was almost midnight and people may have thought that we were scheming something but really, we weren’t. Junmyeon and I were talking about our childhood memories throughout the whole journey to the woods and it felt great to just spend time with him. We talked about everything that we did together and it brought the biggest smile on my face as we both felt nostalgic about the two boys who got lost in the forest because one of them thought they saw a fairy.    
  
We even talked about the time when he ran away from a horde of girls who all fancied him but little did they know that Junmyeon swung the other way. All of his fangirls did calm down after a while when most of them started to suspect that Junmyeon had a preference for the same gender; they were disappointed but they weren’t surprised. Junmyeon later got himself a boyfriend and they were as happy as ever. Kris treated him very well and I was relieved that Junmyeon had found the one he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.    
  
We arrived at the forest and I immediately started to set the campfire up. I made a big fire with all of the sticks I used, the fire was blazing and it reminded me of all my pent up anger. I looked into the bag that I brought along with me and took many of the items, that brought me immense pain, out. The first thing I took out was _his_ shirts, they still smelled like him and that broke my heart even more but I still tossed it into the fire. This was step one of moving on; setting ablaze to the things that hurt you.    
  
I tossed everything into the fire and the last thing I had of him was the ring on my finger. It was a promise ring, he promised that I would be his only one for the rest of his life and I held onto that promise even though I knew he would break it. I never took the silver band off my finger, even after we broke up. I still thought that maybe there was a chance that he would come back but he never did. I held onto the ring, there was something in me that stopped myself from throwing it into the blaze of fire. I was not sure if it was the guilt of almost burning everything he left behind or was it because I still had an ounce of hope left. Maybe it was a mixture of both. Things are confusing. _He_ is confusing.    
  
Junmyeon eyed the ring and sighed, “It’s okay if you don’t want to burn it.”    
  
I nodded and continued to contemplate about all the ways I could have saved my relationship but I slowly began to realise that the outcome was always the same, I was always the one in pain. I shook my head and told Junmyeon that we were leaving, we packed our things and headed towards the car where the drive back was silent yet comfortable like always. Never did I have an uncomfortable moment with him by my side, which I was grateful for as that saved the both of us from the awkward tension. I tapped his shoulder and smiled at him which he returned back. Junmyeon was cute when he smiled but I didn’t say anything.    
  
He turned on the radio and I prepared myself just in case I heard _his_ voice again. The voice that I missed the most, the voice that sang me to sleep at night, the voice that made me love him, the voice that sounded like home. I had to forget that now, he shouldn’t be the one I spend all my nights thinking about. He shouldn’t be the one I always cry about. He shouldn’t be the one I would die for. He just _shouldn’t be_.    
  
I scowled at my thoughts and fiddled with my fingers, we were almost reaching my house. I looked outside the window and I slowly fell asleep without noticing, I only realised it when my best friend carried me into bed and placed a kiss on my forehead before wrapping his arm around my waist and falling asleep. Kris knew about my friendship with Junmyeon and he was completely fine with it as he knew that everything we did was done platonically.    
  
For the first time in two months, I didn’t have a nightmare about _him_.    
  
—————————————   
  
The week after my breakdown, I found myself back at the boulevard, staring at the vast ocean. I let my legs hang off the edge of the pier, thinking to myself how easy it was to fall off and drown into the abyss beneath me. The water was alluring as if it was pulling me in and slowly, I was about to tip over the edge until somebody grabbed me from behind.   
  
“Don’t you dare!”    
  
The voice that I thought wouldn’t come back for me was holding me close to his chest, I could hear his heartbeat racing but it didn’t sound the same. It didn’t beat for me anymore, or maybe, I forgot what it sounded like for his heart to long for me. I couldn’t lift my head up to face him, I was too scared of breaking in front of him, but did it really count if you were already broken?   
  
“W-why are here?” I stuttered quietly, embarrassed by how weak my voice sounded.    
  
He lifted my face up to look at him but I didn’t dare to gaze upon the man who broke me everyday when he was nowhere to be seen. My eyes betrayed me as they finally let the tears run down my face once I had gazed upon his face.    
  
He looked at me with sad eyes but I couldn’t see anything else beyond that first layer of emotion. It was as if he was building walls for himself and I wasn’t invited into his world but what exactly was new? He never really let me in in the first place.    
  
“I’m here for you—only you.” he sighed and held me even tighter than before, as if he was trying to put all my broken pieces back together.    
  
I pulled away and slapped him as hard as I could, everything that I held back was in that swift movement and the sound it made was probably heard from a mile away.    
  
“Don’t you dare say that after you’ve broken me to the point where I need my best friend to try and pick up the pieces just to put me back together.” my voice trembled as I spoke, trying my best to calm myself.    
  
“Don’t you dare come to me and say that you want me back when you’ve taken my heart and thrown it carelessly into the ocean as if it didn’t matter!” I was already shouting by the end of my sentence.    
  
The man I loved—love—looked at me with liquid guilt pouring out of his eyes. Was he broken too? He couldn’t be, he just couldn’t be, but his expression told me otherwise. This must have been a trick, my thoughts blurred my eyes until I realised that he was holding me again. This time, I could feel his tears on my neck and I knew, he was scared of losing me again.    
  
I held him back as if I never wanted to let go which was the truth, I didn’t want to left him go ever again. We stayed like that for a solid thirty minutes until he pulled away.   
  
“I’m sorry for leaving and doing everything my management told me to do, I couldn’t afford to lose my job at that time but I don’t care anymore, I just want you, I have always wanted you ever since we met in high school. You were the only one and I want you to be my only one.” he locked our fingers together, the warmth of his palm reminded me of how bright his soul burned.    
  
I looked at his eyes to see if everything he said was true and they stared back at me with pure genuine emotions.    
  
I sighed, “I’ll give you one last chance.” I faintly smiled at him.   
  
I was suddenly thrown into air and spun around. He was thanking me with tears—happy tears—pouring out of his eyes while he hugged me and peppered my face with kisses. He finally kissed my lips and he tasted like lemonade on a hot summer day and it couldn’t have been better.    
  
“Be mine again?” he pressed our foreheads together.   
  
“I was always yours.” I said before initiating the second kiss.   


**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this a year ago and I finally feel that it's time to release this :"""")  
> I don't really remember the reason behind this fic but I guess that I was feeling hella angsty last year oof  
> I hope y'all didn't cry too much tho :")   
> Also I've been trying to write more but like something's been stopping me oof o well :')  
> Thanks for reading my story tho :))))))))


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